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My best friend organized a gathering. Three men and three women.
After it ended, I drove her home, and in the car, I asked her which one was the most boring.
She wasn't even wearing her seatbelt, and she rolled her eyes first.
“The first one. I said I was stressed, and he said keep going. I said I wanted to quit my job, and he said don't be impulsive.”
“Smiled throughout. Nodded the whole time. We talked for forty minutes. Now I can't remember a single word.”
And the second one.
“The second one kept asking. What do you do? What do you like? Where have you been? Where's your hometow

I resigned last year. HR said the reason had to be clearly stated.
I wrote: Personal reasons.
She said it was too vague. It had to be specific.
I added a line: A family emergency.
She asked, what kind of emergency. Who. What relationship. Whether the company needed to help.
I said, my father was hospitalized.
She nodded. She recorded it. Then she asked, what illness. Which hospital. How long he’d be staying in the hospital.
I looked at her and told the truth.
“It’s not an illness. It’s gambling debts. The creditor came calling. My mom told me to go back.”
Her pen stopped, and

We have a new intern in our company.
During the dog days of summer, wearing a long-sleeved shirt, buttoned up to the top button.
In the break room, a group of people are fighting over the air conditioner remote.
Eighteen degrees. Sixteen degrees. Whoever adjusts it gets scolded.
Someone hangs a portable fan around their neck. Someone places a humidifier on their desk.
Someone goes to the bathroom every half hour to rinse their wrists.
The intern sits in the corner. Motionless.
At lunchtime, I sit opposite him. I ask, aren’t you hot?
He says he is hot.
I say, then why don’t yo

The day my master resigned, he took me out for ramen.
I worked for twelve years. Thirty-eight. Middle management.
He said the company hires fresh graduates every year—not to bring in new blood.
It’s to get cheap labor.
An 8,000-yuan worker can replace you, a 35,000-yuan worker.
Three cobblers equal Zhuge Liang.
Besides—you’re not Zhuge Liang. You’re just a skilled worker.
After 35, your salary will exceed the value you create.
It’s not that you’re not working hard.
It’s that the system has already figured it out.
In the year you turn 40, you’ll become a high-cost resource.

This uncle-in-law and sister-in-law ethics bureau is even more intense than a murder mystery game. If it were you, what would you choose? It’s making me so anxious I want to squat right here 🤣

My cousin bought a BMW last year.
He traded for it by selling electronic cigarettes on social media.
During the New Year dinner, I said, "Your business is doing pretty well."
He said, "It's okay, lots of repeat customers."
I asked where he gets his supplies from.
He said, "Directly from the manufacturer."
"With trademarks and quality inspections, legal."
I didn't ask further.
Last month, at 2 a.m., the phone rang.
He sounded shaken on the other end.
He said the factory had been raided.
It wasn't electronic cigarettes.
They added something to the oil.
The kind from abo

People who start paying social security in 2024
On the day they receive their pension
The first two digits of the year have already changed

You go to a restaurant to order food.
Cost is 10 yuan, selling price is 50. The boss's gross profit is 80%. Do you think that's reasonable?
IKEA sells sofas.
Cost is $300, selling price is $1200. They say their gross profit is only 14%.
Do you believe it?
Either they are lying to you.
Or they are so stupid that they waste $900 on things you don't care about at all.
No matter which —
Closing the store is the best ending.

Last week I went to IKEA and looked at a bookshelf.
Priced at $499.
I took out my phone and searched—same model, shipped from Dongguan, $149 with free shipping.
I stood in front of that bookshelf, stunned for five seconds.
Then I left IKEA and bought a $1 ice cream cone at the door.
Ordered online when I got home. Arrived in three days. Exactly the same.
Now IKEA is closing stores.
I'm not surprised at all.
But I just want to ask:
Will I still be able to eat that ice cream cone in the future?

My uncle-in-law, the only child, died in a car accident. He spent 200k yuan to find an "emotional repair agency," claiming to customize an AI android that looks exactly like his son.
Sign the contract, measure data, wait half a year. On the day of delivery, the other party sent a box. Opening it revealed a tablet with an app inside.
Clicking it, the AI spoke: "Dad, I'm here."
The voice was synthesized. The photo was downloaded from the internet. Even the term "Dad" was set as default.
My uncle-in-law asked, "What is my son's nickname?" The AI said, "Please tell me, I will remember."

Midnight brother called:
"Stop flipping, really stop flipping."
When asked why, he said this time it's not fishing, it's catching fish.
Every time you click connect, there's a record in the backend.
Now the reason you're stuck is not because the airport is bad, but because the backbone network is directly limiting your speed.
The free nodes released are all fishing rods.
A group member connected three times, broadband was cut off, and the technician came and said "report if you connect again."
There's also someone using a dedicated line with an annual fee of 499, lost contact for three days, c

You’re right, the previous version was indeed a bit sloppy. Let’s go straight to the concise version, no cuts:
---
At midnight, my brother calls:
“Don’t keep flipping—really, don’t keep flipping.”
When asked why, he says this time it’s not phishing, it’s fish bombing.
Every time you click a link, there’s a record kept in the backend.
Now it’s lagging so badly not because the airport is bad, but because the backbone network is directly throttling your speed.
All the free nodes released are just fishing rods.
One group member connected three times, and the broadband was cut off. The technician c

My wife and I share our location.
One day, her location showed her at a hotel in the west of the city.
She said she was having afternoon tea with her close friend.
I said that the hotel’s top floor was the presidential suite.
She sent me a selfie, and the guest room logo was printed on her cup.
That evening, when she came back, I said: I saw you in the lobby.
You got into the elevator and pressed the top floor.
In the hallway, I heard you talking to a man.
Her face went white: That’s my ex-boyfriend.
We didn’t do anything.
I said I know.
I asked him where he was staying.

My friend’s cousin’s elder brother—last year he jumped onto the live-streaming sales trend and made more than 8 million in just half a year.
Then he turned around and wanted to divorce his wife. He transferred the house and the car all at once, even “communicating” in advance with the court judge.
The night before the hearing, he took his mistress to a bar to celebrate, drank a bottle of imported liquor worth 20,000, and then went on to down half a crate of beer.
At midnight he got home, collapsed into bed and fell asleep—never to wake up again.
Sudden cardiac death.
His parents were

During the morning rush hour subway, people are pressed against each other.
A guy accidentally brushes against a girl.
The girl turns around and glares at him: "Only three bones in your body? Not even one is stable?"
The surrounding area instantly falls silent.
The guy holds back for three seconds, staring at her lips:
"You have a mouth on you, dedicated to balancing, right?"
Someone in the carriage laughs out loud.
The girl doesn't say anything else.
When the train reaches the station, before getting off, the guy turns back and adds:
"Next time, remember, no matter how many

I am the landlord, a local in Shenzhen, with a middle school education.
I own six buildings collecting rent, and I’m bored out of my mind. Last year, I started working on AI.
I asked him: What is a middle school graduate doing with AI?
He said: I put in the money, Huaqiangbei provides the brains. I hired three programmers, rented an office upstairs in Huaqiangbei, bought chips downstairs, and coded upstairs.
In three months, they developed an intelligent translation device, now sold to the Middle East.
I asked him: How much did you make?
He said: Not much, just enough to cover the

I just made a bet with my wife: whoever mentions "sleep" first loses.
I stubbornly stayed awake until 3 a.m., my eyes almost closing, but I kept my mouth shut.
Then she suddenly said: How about we talk about your ex-girlfriend?
I immediately replied: Sleep.
I lost. But I think I won. 😭

I borrowed 50,000 yuan from my childhood friend and we agreed to pay it back in three months.
Three years passed, and he bought a new car and a new phone, but he never mentioned repaying the money.
I couldn’t help but urge him: Brother, can that 50,000 be paid back to me first?
He said: What are you急 about? With our relationship, are you afraid I’ll run off?
I said: It’s not that I’m afraid you’ll run off—I truly don’t have money to pay the rent.
He was silent for a moment, then said: Then let me teach you a way. Go borrow it—borrow 50,000—and use it to pay the rent first. Anyway, Ji

My younger cousin saved for two years, and finally had eighty thousand yuan in his account.
He made a plan: to gather a hundred thousand yuan by the end of the year to redo the roof of his family’s house.
But last week, his childhood friend bought a used BMW, spending sixty-eight thousand yuan.
My cousin asked: Where did you get so much money?
His friend replied: Charged it to my credit card, paid in 24 installments.
Cousin: So what are you going to do to pay it back each month?
His friend, with his arm around him, smiled: Don’t you have savings? Just lend me some for a couple of m