Hiring: Junior Software Engineer


Requirements:
– 10h/day, 7 days a week
– ship bug-free code on first try
– read PM’s mind from vague Jira tickets
– fix prod at 3 AM from a screenshot
– know every language ‘just in case’
– senior-level output, junior-level blame
Compensation:
– $2/hour
– ‘great learning opportunity’
– unlimited coffee and burnout
– 1 pizza per sprint (if nothing breaks)
Perks:
you’ll grow fast (from stress)
Tech isn’t in a bubble. Job offers are.
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